145th Juneteenth

Juneteenth, is a celebration to commemorate the announcement in Galveston, Texas of the end of slavery, on June 19th 1865 two and a half years after Lincoln's proclamation of January 1st 1863. The reasons for the delay are varied, none involving the best intention in favor of the slaves, you can be sure.

Coming from England via Japan and Singapore to live in America on purpose, as a green card holding "alien resident", Juneteenth was not on any calendar I'd ever seen. I learned about it through the current man in my life, who happens to be a descendant of slaves. He hasn't spoken much about celebrating today and he's not one to mark holidays and calendars with too much detail in any case. We may make some token barbecue and go dancing, we may not. I'm still a little shy of being at large gatherings where I'm the racial minority and where I'm aware of some latent hostility towards white women based on the mythical notion that white women are"taking all our good black men". He laughs it off in his usual easygoing way when I try to talk about this so I deal with it by taking extra care of my appearance in such settings. I don't feel free to be too sloppy with hair, clothes and makeup on the days when I feel I'm under the scrutiny of a lot of black women. I know, I know, it's all ego and all mental, but I can't seem to rise above it yet. Maybe one day; meanwhile I adhere to the time-tested chick way: if you can't beat it, dress up!! (And p.s. hats help).

A few months into our relationship, Larry bought me an original and now mostly unglued paperback copy of The Autobiography of Malcom X, written with Alex Haley. Reading it shocked me awake to attitudes and experiences about which I was then, and presume most of my white friends even today are still, utterly ignorant. This little book, with its yellowed pages and dried out glue grabbed my conscience and shook it till my teeth rattled. It seared a permanent mark on some deep part of me (though less harsh than being branded like cattle, as slaves often were) and painful as it can be at times, I'm grateful for an elevated perspective that helps me navigate the troubled waters of racism and socio-economic injustice.

Perhaps most white people imagine that because Obama was elected president the days of racism must surely be over. You should pardon our cynical sniggers and eye rolling. The subtle and sometimes shamelessly open ways in which we all suffer from both positive and negative discrimination are beyond the scope of this modest forum, but trust me, we still have a long way to go. Just ask Tory, a large and gentle 37 year old black guy from Chicago, married to a white woman, father of three bright and beautiful daughters who was arrested in front of his toddler because of a vehicle registration glitch. The arrest took place in a very liberal enclave of a very liberal county in northern California in a parking lot, in broad daylight. In addition to his terrified daughter, other witnesses included his mother-in-law's best friend, the one who had actually sold him the car a few days earlier and whose attempt to intervene was met with the snarled police order to " Get that bitch outta here!"

Yes dearies, we may think the world is one way and then we find, surprise surprise, that there's more to it. So I salute the freedom, the courage and the outrage of all slaves, past and present. I'm concerned though, about the naive among us who are unconsciously enslaved to the belief that all is well in the great racial divide. If your social circle is racially well integrated, you may know otherwise, and if it isn't yet, for whatever reason, consider easing yourself a little out of your comfort zone to befriend a family of people who don't "look just like" you . This won't always be easy.

A few days ago, a good-hearted woman I know from church confessed that she'd tried once, years ago, to befriend a black woman and her family, but it hadn't gone well for some reason. "I guess black people just have a chip on their shoulder", she concluded. I couldn't let that one just sit there so I suggested that just because a white person decides to befriend a black person for the sake of acting like a liberal, open-minded person, it doesn't mean the black person is obliged to welcome the offer or be grateful for it. It helps when making friends if you have interests in common, otherwise it's just down right patronizing and insulting. "Hm, " she said.

While some people may well have a chip on their shoulder others can't abide the stink of phony friendship and condescension and why should they have to? Just to make a white person feel better? Reaching across any boundary is a risky business, but keep at it, with a good heart and wonderful surprises may await.

As a postscript, I just received an email from a friend whose family is frustrated by lack of social services they need, both medical and economic. The email complains that "only in America" are there homeless with no shelter, mentally ill with no treatment and seniors without necessary medicines while support is poured into places like Haiti. On the surface, that doesn't look racist but when I examine it a little further I have to wonder. Knowing a little about the family background, level of education, life style choices, it's interesting to me that they pick on aid to Haiti, a poor, predominantly black country. I may have a little chip on my shoulder, but I'm looking at this and while I want to be supportive of my friend's justifiable frustration, I'm sad when I see fingers pointed to "reasons" why her family might be suffering. It ain't that simple, honey, I tried to tell her. But she was too angry to listen. Makes me sad. Slavery is all around us, in the minds of so many, and there's no law against it. May liberation be close at end.